I moved into this little studio a block away from the lake. It has a European loft feel and I took great care in weaving my little nest. Guitars, keyboard, laptop set up with my EV speakers, mbox, guitar amps, sewing machine, climbing ivy, enough poetry books to keep me excited for the next few years and Le Lounge Chair. This next year will be possibly the greatest test of faith I have demanded from myself. I cant really say what made me move into my own space and distance my lover. Well, that's not entirely true. I do know. A month after absolute belief and courage to act on my realized direction, I now doubt my supernatural connection, my intentions. Possibly the advice of my peers, requesting I set in visual or sonic examples, the intuition in my gut is pulling me out of my beautiful trance. These long philosophical discussions very pleasantly tease my brain, however, in the end I feel the mystery being sucked out of my magical surroundings. The mystery that has seen everything, that knows everything, the mystery that, when I approach with humility and a pure heart opens itself to me shocks my whole being into a wonderful floating understanding. The philosophical reasoning, the man made architecture has forgotten its place. Mystery is far more intelligent and all knowing. Fact is, I very clearly heard god tell me that I had to leave what I knew and be on my own to be closer to him. Nothing I understand. Nothing that hasn't caused me the deepest despair as well as the most pure hopefulness. To be continued...

"It isn't explanations that carry us forward, it is our desire to go on"-P. Cohelo
hopocalypse nowComment