So i have been contemplating the idea of wasting time recently. Any comment on laziness directed at anybody make me feel a little guilty. I always think...well, I could be doing more.. i was given so many gifts..The word is my present, and its still pretty much left unopened....This feeling is always a bit of a verbally abusive insecure middle management boss type character, beating me down and out.. Then i get a little rebellious inside and remember back on a time when I was busy constantly. I was producing a lot of work! I was busy, and frustrated...and confused....and unhappy with what was coming out..but people had a great deal of respect for me and praised my artistic battle and upheaval as great discipline and diligence... "Surely you will Succeed!"...hmmmhmm.. and at what cost? and who's view of success? Perhaps the artistic battle should be to remain cool, calm and collected in a backward, confused, selfsatisfied, angry whirlwind of society. Finding the calm within the storm..or perhaps the serenity above the storm with the clear panoramic view of..lightness? This is all to say that I am attempteing to go with the flow of my artistic energy levels. I have work to do, obviously, but banishing guilt as a way of making me creative has been a difficult task...meaning a vital task. Im trying to find my perfect balance of out put and input.. active and passive quests for beauty and knowledge..yin and yang. oy.